`dear lord,
i pray that you'll guide me through the way.
i pray that you'll help me choose the correct path,
that one and only path that i can take,
that one and only choice i can make.
lord i pray that you won't make him sad,
i pray that you'll keep him by my side,
my man.
lord i pray you'll keep my heart safe and secure in your writh,
i pray that you'll never ever let me slip away.
please.. angels up above.. help me..`my darl,
i'm so sorry i brought you through all this torment,
i'm sorry i said i love you, only to tell you later i love another.
i'm sorry that i just cry out so helplessly to you.
i'm sorry, for being so indecisive.
but would you believe me if i say i just want to choose you?
would you believe me if i say i can learn to forget him without knowing anything, without getting any answers.
for you i will.
would you believe me?
`i want to choose that route that will always be lit, ready to keep me warm in comfort, and always shield from that frightening darkness.
i don't want to step into a route that was originally dark, but later becoming all lit up with the brightest light, because i'll still keep in mind that it was once so dark, so scary, so torturous to go through. who knows one day, it might just black out again. i am afraid to try, to step out and reach into nothingness.
at least i can still feel you when i reach out my hands,
you will always be there to protect me, to love me.
i don't want to fall into a love web that might just fall through anytime.
`but again,
why are you giving me hope?
why ask me what if he is now a changed person, what if he loves me as much as you love me, what if he really really knows what he really wants now.
why stump me with those questions of yours,
why make me lose grip of you more and more...
`i feel, so guilty.
tears just flood my eyes when i know you're feeling sad,
because of all these foolish acts of mine,
because i can't make a decision.
one thing for sure,
i never used to cry so easily, so vulnerably.
but when i see tears in your eyes, my heart just pricks with pain.
maybe i understand exactly how you feel,
just that now, i am the one who's the indecisive one, the one who's hurting another, the one who's a cheat.
`sorry.
that innocent smile which captivates
`[9:19 PM]
