Saturday, April 30, 2005
Hold them back..i noe i can..i hafta juz..gt thru it.. concentrate on studies.. tt is what I have to do now..
i think I am thinking too much n becoming irritating.. so.. i have to control myself.. but it seems that now that I have stopped all the assuming.. things aren’t getting any better.. in fact.. i feel weird now that I talk to u..u r like.. a stranger n the phone call.. it ended off so awkwardly.. I dun like us being this way.. this is not the way it should be..
he told me u went home first.. although I knew u won’t wait.. I chose to believe n hope that u had the intention n so, I went to check my phone.. there were no messages no nothing.. I gt so fed up I lent my phone to him.. n even after he returned me the phone.. I switched it off, I didn’t want to keep checking it when I noe the messages, they juz won’t come in.. no matter how hard I wished they would.
she told me..we’re just like how it went btw u n her last time.. u didn’t wanted to message her either..i chose to believe it was cause of the exams.. not that u didn’t wanted to message me, I told her that u did message me.. juz that they dun come in as often, I don’t know, maybe u r sick n tired of havin to message me first.but I prfer it that way cuz I won’t mind messagin with u even if I am studying.. but u would mind messgain if u were studying n so, I rather u message me when u’re free..
nowadaes.. i start to sae that I hafta go study, bcuz.. i dun like the long waits, I dun dare to tell u cuz.. i noe ur reason.. u r watchin tv, u went to bathe, they r exactly like the excuses u gave her.. but it is okae. cuz I believe in u.. i choose to believe that u r bathing n u r merely distracted by the tv..
u tell me u wanna concentrate on ur studies..but it seems that everyday, u wanna watch movie.. movie n studying, they just dun occur to me together.. but.. i believe u.. u need a break.. that movie is a must watch n u wanna accompany ur frens.. i noe.. frens come before me.. so, I believe u n I kept my patience..
n..i juz wanna sae sorrie for the last time we quarreled over u nt replyin properly online..i noe..i had been tinkin too much tt time..i noe..i was irriatatin..looking a back, I realized how contradicting I was, I realized how frustrating it was..so sorrie..i didn’t mean it..hope u dun put it to heart..so for now..i am giving u all the freedom u need.. I believe u..i trust u..i noe u won’t turn me down n u’ll prove that I was right to believe u.. I really hope things can get betta..as for the comfort n bliss I used to receive from u..they r juz obstructed by the exams, they will come back..i believe..
that innocent smile which captivates
`[3:40 AM]
