Sunday, March 27, 2005
i feel hurt..my heart is wrenching..i merely juz wanted to let u noe how i am feeling..i am sorrie for being myself..mabbe..u didn't wanted to noe how i feel..i dun have the courage to tell u things bcuz..i am afraid i am so afraid tt if i ever tell them to u.. am afraid u would get frustrated..u would get irritated by my folly of tinkin so much..i noe i am tinkin too much..but hav u ever wondered? y am i tinkin so much..i am bcuz i care so much abt u n how u feel..i am afraid tt if i ever sae things wrongly..u would get the wrong idea n the wrong feelin..i am afraid tt i hav nt get my facts right before i sae somethin..i would hurt u..i am afraid tt if i ever told u how i feel..u would feel sad..or even angry with me..tt is y i am always hesistating..i am tinkin whether i shld tell u..tinkin how u would feel if i ever tell u..n tt is why sometimes..halfway thru..i decided nt to tell..bcuz i am afraid of what willl happen if i tell u..
now..i realised something else..i realised tt afterall..u r irritated by me n how i feel..mabbe u juz dun understand why am i feelin down n sad..but..i can tell u..it is all bcuz of u..i feel tt..i am constantly waitin for a reply..a reply which i'll never get..i dunnoe wad i wanna hear..but..i juz seems tt none of wad i wanna hear comes from u..i feel so distant suddenly..never would i hav taut u would juz blow up at me n sae all those things..i am sad abt it..i reallie am..mabbe to u..those tt u hav said were merely juz some comments out of frustrations..words which are nt wrong abt wad's happening..but do u know how much they have hit me? i suddenly feel tt u dunnoe why am i so sad..when i've already told u.. u noe..u sae sorrie..but after sorries..things stil remain the same..i dunnoe..mabbe i've wronged u abt everything tt i've said here..but..they r juz how i reallie feel..i've wiped my tears n i'm tryin to pick myself up from the painful fall..but i hope u could come around n give me a hand..please..u know..i need u..
that innocent smile which captivates
`[11:57 PM]
